A Promise

A phone conversation with my husband a couple of weeks ago has had me mulling over this post for a little while now, but it’s proving difficult to write. You see, when I started this blog I made myself a promise. I knew that with this theme of honesty I’ve got going, it could be somewhat easy to injure innocent bystanders on my journey. And the bystander most likely to get run over is my husband.

Women have this thing we like to do. We call it ‘venting’ and say its healthy to get things off our chests, but all that it really amounts to is a big gripe session about our husbands. Sure it feels good to have other women validate our feelings. ‘Oh yes, my husband does that too! Doesn’t it just drive you crazy? Why are men such idiots?’ But for some strange reason we also like to think that our own husband takes the cake when it comes to whatever thing he’s done to annoy us this time. Maybe its a strange kind of martyr syndrome. ‘Do you see what I have to put up with? I should be sainted or at the very least get a shiny new medal (in the shape of a pair of earrings perhaps).’

I don’t want to fall into that trap. Actually, if I’m being truthful, I need to rephrase. I’ve been caught in that trap more times than I’d like to admit, and I want to stay out as long as possible, even if it means gnawing off my own leg to get free. Okay, that’s just gross, so I’ll stop the metaphor here. I think you’re all smart enough to get the picture.

All I’m saying is that, while everyone needs a chance to let off some steam once in a while, we play a dangerous game when complaining about the one closest to us becomes a regular part of our conversations. I don’t know about you, but for me complaining breeds bitterness and resentment, neither of which aid the whole ‘happily ever after’ goal. On the other hand, I find that when I make a point to think and say positive things about my husband (even when I don’t feel like it) I start to notice all the great things he does.

So that promise I mentioned a little while ago was this: In general, I will not use this blog to complain, and more specifically, I will not use it to complain about my husband. But then we had that phone conversation and I saw something that would make a good topic to write about. Something I think a lot of women will relate to. So I found myself with a problem. Do I break my promise? Do I not write about it at all? Or do I figure out a way to write without putting down my husband? As I’ve thought it over, I’m pretty sure I can choose the third option. But I wanted to lay all this out before I started because it’s something I’m serious about. I’m asking you to hold me accountable. If now or in any of my future posts you feel that I’m breaking my promise, please call me out on it.

As for that phone conversation; well, I’ll save that for next time. I think I’ve yammered on long enough for now. Stay tuned though. You have a responsibility to make sure that I’m upholding my ground rules. And if you feel like it, give it a try yourself. Then let me know if you find the same thing that I have. Will a change in your conversations lead to a change in your attitude? And will a change in your attitude lead to a change in your relationships? Who knows; this could be revolutionary!



Lauren Cormier

About Lauren Cormier

Lauren is a 30-something stay at home mom who doesn't have it all together and she's pretty sure you don't either. She hopes that by sharing her real life (not the glossy made-up version) she can encourage you to drop the act and get real. Lauren lives in Hermon with her husband and their three children. She also blogs at www.ohhonestly.net